Maunder

It may never be like it once was. Frail, subtle, but so charming like your smile. The days were just blades of grass and the wind blew; I forgot what love felt like and shattered the dreams that laid in your heart. My eyes could never see the broken shards, but you still smiled and I thought there was no way for us to be apart. A seed in a barren land. We never held hands, we never felt our warmth, it was all cold under the fire that your eyes feigned for my heart. A vain hope that I held high until I raised my sight and saw nothing but my empty hands.

It will never be like it once was. Rain washed away the pieces, took away what I thought was mine to cherish and mine alone to hold in my arms. My vacant stare could not find you in the song of a bleeding sky, could not see the trail of the sadness I was sure our torn feelings would left behind. I forgot everything but your smile, I was left a jaded husk with nothing but an image of a time that would never be mine. Unsure, I walked, I fell, I kept trying to find a way back. No road to follow, no grave to give up this life.

I no longer remember what it once was like. No difference existed between sun and snow for my weary eyes. The wandering souls mocked my pathetic tries to find an excuse to live for, a reason to die for. The never ending need to feel the icy grasp of a feeling that I would once again outlast. And there, over the chasm, hating the love and loving to hate this life, I saw a familiar smile. One I tore with a selfish desire. A light I prayed for, a blinding sight that double crossed my heart.

I no longer remember anything at all. All is gone, washed away by the stream that takes me far away from your life. Pain subsides as the horizon disappears, as the rain takes away my tears. So far away, in a place that knows nothing from the past I cannot even feel is mine to remember or mine to despise. Hidden from the shadows, safe from the sight of a reflection that haunts the dreams I can barely keep alive; I wait for the time when you see through my eyes and discover a heart that no longer beats for your smile. A heart that no longer beats for anyone alive.

Deeper Layers of Blood-Red Dreams

I cannot hide from sight the agony that consumes me so before you all. This sick obsession is tearing my mind, and no single thought is free from the withering influence of these insane thoughts. I have diligently hived away these unnerving emotions with no purpose at all; I think I never had any idea whatsoever what to do with so much hate.

I lust for an empty image, I desire the blackness inside the "you" that only exists in my most depraved nightmares. Run, hide, fight against the urge to be devoured by my darkness. Burn yourself escaping from the hell you put me through; these flames were made by you and I kept them glowing just for you. Now, now my dear, smell the reek left in the ashes, let me defile you with the stench of the feelings you threw in the pyre.

Soulless damsel, you have done more than enough to secure a place in the depths of torment. Your treacherous kisses will not be forgotten by those who lie dead without a grave. I, as the prime of all your lascivious cadavers, open my arms for you to rip my heart and rend my flesh, in a passionate display of mordant affection. I forget it all as soon as my eyes shut to this torture and you're nothing but an object to satisfy my crooked desires in a dream world made of disgorged rejection.

Night is over, the false reality before my eyes vanishes as the light chars my soul. I smile, though, the thrill of the kill still fills me with unholy joy; a shard of the hate is gone, a cross has left my living core. I have left a beautiful corpse in the fields of the dreadful love I spawned for you; a fading husk made of sweet deception.

Let the light die in your hands, time will pass away in the proverbial agony of unwanted eternity. I will expect night to see you in my dreams and take your blood to avenge our sin. Damnation by the road of obscure sensations, death by means of bleeding lust.

Scorn, disdain and other guilty pleasures (Lust for Self-Destruction)

Watching from afar, I am satisfied by your pathetic attempts to get a life. I could care less, I do at times in fact, but there is something there that still pulls me to your gallery of horrors. My own reasoning makes little sense in fact, but you know how these things go. A smooth silk thread that joined our lives turned into a heavy chain and, in the end, into a spiked ring around our necks, but you cannot savor nor understand this pleasure.
 

Who is the victim? Who is the slave in this puny game of words and mistakes? I left you behind in the trail of thorns that you decided to grow, it was not my fault that you decided to get into gardening poisonous flowers while you could get fruits from our tree. Your idiocy is maybe your most prominent sense and it clings to your mere presence like an extra appendix that you use to take all the wrong decisions at the wrong times.
 

Lucky for me that I just watched the whole freakshow and did not try to get you out of the sea of red stinging things that you grew around you. It was somewhat wrong knowing that I should have said something at that time, but, oh well, I hate to admit that it was funny as hell. Hey, you cannot really reason this kind of things with me, you lost me a long time ago, remember?
 

Don't you dare to call me a liar, do not even think I was the one to betray. You never really relied on me to take any decision, you never ever told me what was your next step. It was easier that way, thinking you were following the most reasonable path while threading a perfect trail to hell. I tried to tell you but to no avail, but then again, it was all in vain as you never really listen to me. Why do you insist now; I got used to being ignored and eventually faded with the background noise, you were never really listening if that is what you want to know.
 

I feel it is wrong to treat you with such scorn, but I just cannot avoid feeling that this is what you deserve. You tried to have it all, to have everything your way and in the end it, the harder you tried, the deeper you fell. Do not ask for a rope, not even a light, you dug that pit and suddenly realized that there is no easy way out of that thing. You still have the shovel, so maybe you can try digging some more...
 

Sorry, but there is no other way to tell you that you are completely sunk into what you deemed as a perfectly reasonable path to get what you desired. Just a word of advice:
 

Absolutely, if you have another chance in life, do not try again to make me look as a fool. This is what you get when you mess around with common sense.

Reality in a thousand mirrors

"And my eyes were not cold, they were just waiting for you"

The fire inside my soul was still lit after all, but it slowly died away as there was nothing to consume but my mind. I had fought for what I thought was right, but the war ended long ago and I was just battling the ghost that remained within my scars. As the world went round and round I kept my eyes in the horizon waiting for a new night to be free and claim what I thought was mine, but the midnight sun never ceased to shine. And there I was, trapped in a maze built out of rejection and wasted moons to a cause I had lost before it even began.

I left my sword behind and cast my armor away in the forgiving dark waters that ran softly through the cracks reason had not filled with the logic of a dead man. Yet, I, the one that had never truly lived at all, could not drown nor feel the cold embrace of oblivion that quietly ran through my hands. I tried to breathe but was unable to fill myself with a pain that was not mine to be felt; I tried to cry but tears refused to come out for something I knew deep inside was nothing but a lie.

Then and there I wandered through the remains of the dark, the true essence of a world torn apart finding scattered shards of my will to be free, of my endless desire to leave this labyrinth behind. I heard your call, yet I was still unprepared to hold your heart; I heard you call and I decided to turn your wish in my command. I secretly held to those whispers, those eyes that wished to burn and reach the skies. I sundered the memories and the remains of my own blight to create a new world out of the ashes, a new temple of shadows to protect with newfound devotion the most lovely gift of them all.

I walked down the road and found that the path was harder to walk this time, but I did not surrender, I kept my promise to find you again and listen to your whispers one more time. Even if I were to lose it all in this desperate last try. Night covered me and I came to you at last wearing the dark and using the words of long forgotten times, reaching out for the soul that pronounced my name oh so many times in the vast landscapes of frozen tears and solid cries. I was there, standing by you, close to you, inside the walls of a world that only I was meant to see and admire. There was music, there was light like no other I had seen in the past, there before me was a world like no other I had seen in my time.

We spun the threads of destiny one at a time and inside a fortress of stone and gold I swore without words to protect your heart and walk along you even in the darkest hours of life. I ascended from my tomb and took a hammer to my hand, a promise to my heart and an oath to our lips, to never surrender, to never fall back, to be with you and hold your hand to help you and support you at all times. The flame inside burns brighter than ever now, and in its fire I forge the words to keep you by my side.

And, here I am, still in the dead of the night, hidden from it all but your lovely eyes. Here I am, for you and just for you, for your wish is my command.